On Turning 45…

For some reason while I was growing up, 45 seemed like it was one of those really significant ages. I thought of it as marking the true beginning of middle age and the age by which you would truly have your shit together.

Either that’s a load of crap, or else I have failed miserably in life.

So when 45 was just on the horizon, I was truly having difficulty digesting it. 40 was super easy, but fast-forwarding five years hasn’t been. There has been an awful lot of upheaval in my life. Some of it I have shared here. Some of it even my best friend and my therapist don’t know.

I didn’t even make plans for the big day, other than my $15 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway that you may have seen on a previous post. Even that was only officially posted starting the day after my birthday. And if you know me, I often have something big going on, usually related to music.

Not so much this year.

And I am okay with that.

I’ve had a week now to reflect on it and honestly feel little difference from 44. Conveniently, my biweekly therapy appointment was the day before my birthday, so naturally, it was a part of our discussion. Her words of wisdom to me were the same as I would give to someone else. “Instead of focusing on your failures at 45, look to the successes that you have had.”

I guess I just needed to hear someone else say it directly to me.

I’ll spare you my list for now. I know it in my head and heart, and that is what is most important. I’m pushing myself to regularly reflect on all of that as well, to help me continue to move forward and to make progress. After all, isn’t that what life is all about? Constantly learning and reflecting to become the best YOU that you can be? You just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and ask for help when needed.

So tell me – what was a difficult age for you? How did you handle it?

As always, thanks for reading.

P.S. The giveaway ends at the end of the month! Good luck if you enter!

2 thoughts on “On Turning 45…

  1. I just turned 45 and it’s a huge milestone I didn’t want to meet. With chronic pain, divorce three years ago, life seems blah. I never thought I would divorce but I was being bullied/abused. I’ve accomplished so much in the three years so I’m trying to reflect on that instead of the negative but it still hurts.

    1. I can only imagine and I’m so sorry that you have had to go through so much. I remember wondering if something was going on because you had been more quiet in the groups and then reemerged. And from what I have been able to see from my end, you are definitely doing a lot! But I also understand how easy it is to knock yourself down. I keep doing it to myself. It’s one of the things we are working on in my therapy sessions.

      And happy belated! I didn’t realize we were so close!

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